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Power Trip
Healing Hooves
How a Horse Encounter in Ecuador Taught Life Balance
By Jennifer Malloy
As dusk falls on the slopes of Rumiñahui Volcano I find myself confessing my deepest fears—to a horse. The horse, indifferent to my desperation to connect, refuses to move when prompted, leaving me feeling like a failure within mere hours.
I’m in Ecuador’s Chagras Region at Hacienda El Porvenir, a working ranch near Cotopaxi National Park. I travelled to this Land of the Four Worlds in hopes of finding some clarity to an adult ADHD diagnosis received a few months earlier. That’s how I ended up here, dabbling in equine therapy for the first time, in deep mourning for the life I might have lived.
Challenge One
“Lead your horse to where you want to go, not where he wants to go,” Maria, the ranch owner and horse therapy facilitator, calls out.
Easier said than done. No matter how I tug at the bridle, the horse resists. Failure is now written all over my face, even when spending time with a horse, something that should feel simple.
Maria approaches. “The horse senses anxiety,” she says. “Calm your mind and body. Be gentle, but firm.”
But my mind has never been calm, and for the first time, I stop pretending. Earlier in the day, while forest bathing on the ranch, I had broken down, inhaling the aroma of damp leaves, scented with a hint of fresh soil, and cried unabashedly for the first time in years. The horse knows I’m not okay.
Challenge Two
The next day, I did connect with a horse named Cariño. Sitting 15 metres away on the grass I sense his longing—one that mirrors my own.
I press my hands into the earth, desperate for connection. Cariño collapses onto the grass, meeting my gaze. The indifferent horse from the night before is gone, replaced by a creature that looks exhausted, fragile—a reflection of myself. I’ve spent a lifetime donning a mask, trying to fit into a world that wasn’t built for me. And I’m tired, too.
Lesson Learned
I lie down in the grass without breaking my gaze. We simply exist in that space, a space I could only find here in Ecuador, at a ranch nestled in a corner of the earth, where my chaotic soul could finally find peace.
When I finally rise, knowing that my time here is finite and limited, Cariño rises with me. I tentatively approach him, hand out, and when he dips his head to sniff at it, I move closer, cradling myself into the side of his neck and feeling his majestic mane tickle my skin. He nuzzles into me, and I know.
I’m going to be okay.
Travel Planner
Advanced reservations are needed for Hacienda El Porvenir’s Equine Therapy program. For details, see tierradelvolcan.com/hacienda-el-porvenir
